Detachment, Pop-Tarts, and Hope

[ThinkingItThru]

I don't post a lot. Maybe because I'm just living in limbo and there's not much to say, but today something happened that shook me up.

I was having a great day. Took the kids to the movies and when I came out, someone had broken into my car, smashed the window, broke the doorlock, stole a Garmin navigator and a digital camera. I called the police and they came out and took a police report. I called my H at home and asked him to come pick us up and his first response was irritation and the question, "Why?" I had several reasons...it was 25 degrees outside, D1 didn't have a coat with her,...so he came to get us.

When we got home he asked about dinner and I told him I was upset and my stomach was tied in knots. He asked "why"? I told him that someone broke into my car damaging it to the tune of considerable $$$ and took my Christmas present too. He just looked at me. Then he went downstairs to watch NASCAR.

All through this thing I've been trying to see things from his perspective. I've made mistakes. I'm not good at communicating when it gets personal and I feel vulnerable, but I'm having a hard time now. I keep asking God for signs to show me the way and then situations come up like this one and if these are messages than I'm really starting to wonder what he's telling me.

H and I get along fine as long as I don't have any need or expectation for our R.

That's it...I'm just tired.