Divorce looming #4

[25yearsmlc]

well Kev,
your wife's family history is really impressive. How "ambitious". Kind of upwardly mobile, but actually more efficient & faster since it piggybacks on someone else's efforts.

Why bother with years of sacrifice and schooling and work, when you can just hook up with someone else who has? Especially someone like say, a lawyer or doctor, who's wife put him thru all the years of training and raised the kids pretty much alone, but now isn't as fun as someone 20 years younger ( no this did not happen to me, but as a doctor's wife I CAN say I know at least a dozen men who have done this, -and one woman doctor-and it's really such a cliche, like something you'd think was a poorly written Hollywood film. But like your wife, sometimes people don't know how UNoriginal their crazy "once in a life time soul mate" behavior is...)

Two thoughts--first off, I reject the idea that her family just wants "her happiness" no matter what. Do they dislike you b/c of the drinking? Something else? You are the father of their grandchildren. Or is it really just fine with them, as in "(sigh)...too bad daugher isn't happy enough right now but hey, if ruining two families MIGHT make her feel good today, that is what she should do....and we're just fine with that b/c after all she IS blood..." NOT!

As a mother, yes, I want my child to be happy...oh, and MORAL...and I think there is a connection between living a morally decent life and being happy. If I can't look myself in the mirror when I'm 75 y/o b/c I'm ashamed of myself....how "happy" is that? As parents here on this site, we should ALL know that if our children someday end up causing someone to come to these boards b/c of our child's behavior, meaning if OUR child is a WAS someday, may I assume we ALL know we'd be having a real "come to Jesus" talk with them? I can assure you I will.

YOU also want your wife's happiness (her parents have a short term view, to say the least) but only an idiot would tie that solely to someone's salary....does this mean your wife's sister and mother both left men for guys who earned more? So none of them have their first Marriage's intact? Wow, that is some legacy of love and committment and quite a family tradition.
Gosh, hope no one gets cancer or a slowly degenerating disease that requires help from a spouse...oh well, that's why you HIRE help...forget about saying "for richer, for poorer" and just say "for all promotions and raises"

Gee Kevin, we really ought to do something to help future men who your wife's ilk would otherwise marry, get impregnated by, and or then leave. Think of the saved lives and children who won't have to witness this or grow up to continue this fine family tradition.

You know, let's save them all some time so they don't waste any of their precious years, or yours, or your kids, or an otherwise decent man's life, by spending it with someone earning too little...

(People, let's all help Kev out here okay, I mean -- learning to laugh at this idiocy DOES help, trust me...)


So Here is a list of things your wife should look for when she starts dating again-- as the R with today's OM will inevitably end and she'll either snap out of her wackiness , or she'll carry on her family's genetic defect--- so here is a "list" of questions for the next time she starts fishing for a "good catch:"

*) what is the adjusted gross income (AGI) of new man;
*) FICA score please
*) debt to income ratio;
*) list of ex wives and their take of new man's AGI
*) list of children new man admits fathering and supporting;
*) job history and expected promotions, increases in pay, etc
*) cost of mistress(es)
*) liklihood of heart attack in new man,
*) number of men (ex husbands) who want to kill new man;
*) list of beneficiaries so when new man dies, STBXW can know what she'll get;
*) crimes committed by new man, e.g., tax evasion, embezzlement, etc. that are likely to be discovered and amounts of money hidden in overseas accounts...
*) test results for sexually transmitted diseases; and...
*) other stuff we'll all think of later to ask rich guys...


There, I think I've done my part for the world today. Granted it won't help YOU, but think of the innocent lives your wife's family's type, won't get to ruin.

Whatever happened to her biological father? And the first h of her sister, was he a good guy who simply didn't earn enough? Is she really happier now that she ruined two families for...MONEY? (Oh, sorry, I meant to say "success")...

Also, is your wife SAYING that you don't earn enough and that she is attracted to OM"s money, or is turned on by it, or is this your take on it, based on the pattern you see in her family? I'd be ashamed to admit it out loud if I were her but then again, I'd be ashamed of a bunch of things if I were her.

Hope you don't mind this satire. Someone once told me I use humor to cope with pain....um YEAH, (seems healthier than beating up the old people...) and believe me, if your wife is having a MLC then you have to stay detached and have a sense or irony and humor, etc. But hey, if this is some family "trait" then down the road you may feel you are better off. Even if you made 7 figures, it could all end in a day. You could crash your car and need your butt wiped for decades and is she the type of woman to do that? I know you love her and I hope she gets better. But then, there are times one has to wonder if you are being done a favor...IF this is a trait that only manifested now, then I guess it's better to know now. (Did she ever comment on their choices?)

We lost 3 family members the last 14 months and my mil is terminally ill. If someone had bolted instead of sticking it out with the terminally ill spouse/parent, I cannot imagine what would happen. I suspect we'd have done an "intervention" if you know what I mean. What type of behavior does your wife's family display at this type of ordeal?

You'll raise your kids differently. They won't carry on the ways of your wife's family. Thank GOD...literally.

(( j ))