Two WAS's- is it really meant to be or walk away?

[Loving_Life]

So, I broke down and called stbx last night. (No phone contact in 4 months) Talked for a little while. Somehow the words 'yes I would like to be friends and stay in touch' came out of my mouth. Stbx said he would like that too. (of course he's been saying that all along). A few months ago I told him I didn't think I could be friends if we got a D. Anyway, he told me a little about his life lately. Admitted he missed the cats. I told him I missed the dogs. The convo ended with him yelling at me b/c I asked him why he asked me to get married so many years ago. (total backslide on my part, which just made me feel like junk then afterwards). It makes him angry when I bring up R topics(and I know I should be avoiding this anyway) but I think he feels like he has to justify his reasons for the D. Anyway, he called me again today, but I missed the call. So, I guess he feels like if I need to talk he'll call me or something? Then I sent him an email saying thanks for the call. I wasn't trying to argue/disagree with you last night-I understand where you were coming from I'll stay in touch. Take care. Part of me finds it painful talking to him, I don't know if I can really be "friends". But I guess the other part of me feels like how can I completely block out someone I've known for 15 yrs. I know this isn't easy for anyone. It feels really nuts.