Thanks for what you said. I am feeling pretty low and alone. I know I am right but he gets things so twisted sometimes that I just need someone to remind me that I am ok and I know what I am doing.
I had been thinking about it for awhile now - the fact that I need to make decisions for myself - I was planning on it anyway, I just didn't want to say anything to him before it was necessary. Like, if the kids do move with their F, or go away to school, I may have to sell the house - I don't think I can make the payments myself and the utilities and taxes are awful. But it is all mine so I can do what I want.
Telling him that I may not want to wait was something i had been debating saying because I knew it would blow up. And I think that part of today's blow out had to do with it. I just thought it was time for him to face some reality - just as he has been dishing it out to me for a long time. I didn't want to do it in reaction to anything he said, I needed to wait for my own time to put it out there. He is sober, and in IC, but he isn't saying anything different to me, just justifying his own thoughts.
The convo wasn't all bad to start with, he did ask forgiveness for some things, and he eventually hear me telling him that I wanted his appreciation for hanging in there for 3 years like this, versus his demand that I have to work on things. But from there it always goes downhill. He can't maintain any decency for long. I am truely surprised that he really can't pull it together.
As much as I think I have bent over backwards, I still have thoughts that I could do things differently. Did you feel that way at all?
