Ack {{{Silva}}} hate that It sounds like S21 can totally handle himself in the sitch, but I understand how you want to tell her a "few things"..vent away!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Sounds like the day for "WAS" to act up - could it be in the stars or something? LOL
You sound angry and hurt. Read my thread and you will hear more from me about mine. But since this is yours I will continue on your case. I think you handled it well. I was told when my kids were young by the therapist to let them have their own R with the other parent and not to get in the middle. He told me that when we get in the middle then they turn their anger on us.
I guess you were surprised by your own feelings, just letting you know that R don't really ever end, they get distant but not done - that is why Michele has this book and site. It isn't easy. If I had a do-over I wouldn't have D the first time, and it is why this time is so hard on me.
Continue venting if needed, I 'll be around looking for a partner to dance with later. Have to keep spirits up now!
Just an added sentiment, my grandparents made it for 71 years. I loved them deeply and miss them often. I still have a picture of them together dancing on my bureau.
Makes me wonder sometimes why some people last so long and others don't.
I asked my parents how they did it, their answer....we are both just very very lucky. Now that is an awesome reply for 2 people that have known each other so long.
THat is very sweet! They underplay their parts but so did my grandparents. My grandmother told me the secret was for the woman to just go along with pleasing her H. My grandfather said that it was just the way itt was. Two interesting viewpoints. He used to think that there was just a certain code that everyone lived by and that was it. He said our generation asked too many questions, tried to do too much.
Thankfully your S's are older now and can voice their opinion. I am sure they didn't like it much either. I understand you being upset though, I still am very protective of my kids even though they are older.
Hope the job is going well. Sounds like it is.
You just keep being the shining one in all of this.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
SO..you are right..it IS nice that they can voice their opinions about the situation, makes it easier to (hopefully) know their thoughts about what is going on..I think we are always gonna be protective over our kids..heck my mom is 60 and still probably would beat my hub up if she saw him LOL
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
There has been no further mention of it at all. I am not going to revisit it with my boys either. They DO have their own opinions and I don't want to stifle them or try to sway their judgement in any way. As long as they are happy, they can deal with the situation in any way that they want.
They both know I love them unconditionally, they both know that I still love who their Mum was, they both know I am here for them. I can't do anymore than that.
In the meantime, job is going great and life is peachy
{{{Silva}}}} Glad you checked in and hey..you can't ask for more than peachy eh??
As far as your boys go..that's how I feel about my kids. I WANT them to be able to express how they feel and deal with it in their own way in their own time..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
What an awesome place, Silva! I had a very similar situation happen to me - kids related something W told them, and I just said, "OK", smiled and hugged them. And I felt no need to respond, or say negative things about W.
Man, what a great place you are in! I was just complimenting Tawnya, and I'll pass that on to you.
You are the embodiment of this place - to love your spouse, your kids, and life.
It sounds like S21 can totally handle himself in the sitch, but I understand how you want to tell her a "few things"..vent away!
