My first step out of Newcomers

[Can it work]

Sandi, thank you for pointing me in the direction of RobX. The man's an inspiration to relative newbies like me. You're also completely right that I'm taking a load of things from this site and incorporating them in to my many reminices about my life. There's so much help to be had here that I thank God I found it. By the way Sandi, I put myself on Face Book and joined the DB group but can't for the life of me find anything in it.

Thanks for your post once again too PM. I'll try and explain what I meant in my previous post. Looking at the thread which Sandi just directed me to, I would describe my epiphany as finally starting to drop the rope. I know that I completely love my wife and I'm finding myself more and more with every day which passes. My new confidence in myself doesn't mean that my W is going to definitely want to be with me again but it makes me believe that I'm an attractive enough person that I deserve to have that love. If not from her, from someone. I don't suppose I've made any progress recently but I've not slipped back either. As I keep getting reminded, this is a marathon I'm running and quite frankly I'm still in the early stages compared to many on here.

A quick update now. I ran in to my W's uncle on Friday and we started chatting. He is quite close in age to myself and we share common interests. We both play guitar and listen to the same kinds of music. We've always been good friends. I used to worry that I would lose all that when my W decided to walk out on me. Him and his W also have two young children who Wee Man loves visiting. Because of this, I suggested that I take Wee Man out o visit them today. He was all for the idea. He obviously told my W's aunt about it because she phoned me yesterday to ask if Wee Man and I would like to join them for Sunday dinner. I graciously accepted. When I arrived this afternoon, my W's uncle wasn't home yet so I was just chatting away with his W. We didn't really go in to any in-depth R talk about my sitch but she did ask how I was coping and things like that. There's one thing she said however that really did register with me. She told me that she'd visited my W and my IL's on Friday with her two children. When she was there, she said my W had seemed very quiet, and almost cold towards her and the kids. I was shocked because my W was always so lively and bubbly with them before. So, it seems like it's not only me who's getting this type of treatment. Is it guilt I'm sensing? I'll try not to analyse it too much but it was an interesting revelation.

I did something quite impulsive yesterday. I sold my car. My W saw the cheque when she came past to pick up Wee Man tonight and asked what it was for so I told her. She didn't sound too overly impressed as she'd just said I could have the car after our separation as she didn't want it. I know she'll be thinking now that I'm going off the rails with money but I really have thought this through. I'm buying a better car from my brother and getting a really good deal with it.

She's just texted me to ask if she can come past the house tomorrow when I'm at work to sort some stuff out. I just texted back and said, 'feel free'. I did accompany that with asking her what she was planning on doing and how Wee Man got on with going to sleep tonight. I thought better about it before I sent it and deleted the rest though. I can see it now as a form of pursuing and I need to stop that.

So, it's all happening one day at a time now. I'm still praying for great things but now know that I have to go out and make things great for myself. I'll get through it with the help of everyone here.

Kev