My best advice to you right now is, find some new outside activity, a fun but challenging one, and put your focus on that. I trained to climb Mt. Whitney a few years ago when my H was having an affair. I'm learning to play the drums right now.
This serves two purposes. First, it will occupy your mind and cut down on the amount of time spent obsessing on your R probs. Two, it will actually make you more attrctive to your spouse, as someone who is out there living an interesting life instead of wallowing in grief.
So - what have you always wanted to do or accomplish? What would be a surprising 180 for you?
