Hi, I have been reading this forum for a few days now. I separated from my h right after Christmas. I did this for many reasons. The biggest reason was a trust issue. He did not have any physical affairs, but did lie to me on numerous occasions and e-mailed back and forth with a woman he met online. Other things as well, but the trust is most important to me.
I am going to go buy the book today, and I am having such conflicted feelings. I thought that if we just split up and I only had to be responsible for myself and my kids, it would be great. I wouldn't have to worry about what he was doing, not doing, etc. anymore.
He has been coming to see the kids and bringing a fair share of money. He has been staying with a friend, and swinging back and forth between how much he misses us, and I think just being mad. Well, of course all of the issues did not just go away when we split up. I was convinced I would be soooo happy after I was rid of him, but I do find myself really missing him and wondering if I messed up. When I read the article about the WAW, it described my situation to a tee. He did/does have issues, and I'm sure I have some too, although not as major as the dishonesty. I tried and tried, then decided it was best if we split, then just stopped caring. We had a serious talk two months before we split where I told him that I thought we should just separate. Of course, even though the reasons were linked to his behavior, he didn't want to "lose" his family.
I'm at a crossroads right now. He is about to go out and get his own place, and I feel that if he signs a lease for a year and we stay apart, all hope is pretty much lost. I think that sometimes men find it easier to just move on and forget than to work really hard and feel the hurt and pain in order to save the relationship.
I'm getting the book, reading it, and starting to try the techniques today. I hope it's not too late, and I hope that he's also willing to work. My kids ask me everyday if dad is coming home, and it hurts. I do miss the good parts too. Not the issues, but the good parts. He did/does? love me and I know that.
Sorry so long, and if you read this far thank you. Any advice would be welcomed. I am hurting, my kids are hurting, and I'm sure he is hurting too. Confused M-32 H-33 M-12 years T-almost 14 years S- 12/27/09 ds-8 dd-3
Last edited by SoConfused; 02/22/0906:37 PM.
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