Standing on the Edge

[native]

I now realize there are things I could have done differently but I quite possibly would be right here still.

I totally agree.....

Sometimes I feel that no matter what I did, or possibly could have done, it would have been an exercise in futility. It would be like trying to carry water in a sieve, keeping her happy....like she is programmed for tragedy and drama.

As far as wife's R with D, I limit my involvement to keeping tabs with D about how she is being treated. W's unhappiness sometimes spills over to D, and W acts crabby and short-tempered.

I did have a good time last night. Most of my neighbors now know that we are seperated. It was good to finally get out and interact with others, as for the longest time W complained that she had to be social at work and wasn't interested in being social on her free time.

D and I enjoyed the circus as well, but I think D missed her mom being there, as we had all gone together the previous year.

Apparantly though, I found out that W took D to the Circus the last day, with a guy and his kid and W did not tell me.

When I asked her about it, telling her her lovelife was not my concern, but my d's exposure to it was, she said he was one of her student workers and this was just a friend, not a romantic relationship. She understood the issue about not involving our D with someone she was dating. ( she hasn't actually been seeing anyone, unless she is lying about this guy).

Truthfully, she does not look near as good as she could, she hasn't taken much care about her appearances and has gained some weight.

When I see her though, I can see the good friend I spent 10 yrs of my life with, or I can see the crazy, unhappy, never content nutjob that left me.