Was watching for a few days and didn't see you posting. Hang in there. I am with you about wishing you had done some things better as a husband. My only thought there is be reall careful when you do the self reflecting. It is easy to start looking at your own faults. When this all happened I took the whole burden on myself. Slowly and with a lot of reading (about MLC, menopause, self help, infidelity) and truely breaking down each situation I now realize there are things I could have done differently but I quite possibly would be right here still.
Sounds like you are getting out and meeting neighbors. That's great. I think that is one of our problems. We moved to our current city and had nothing in common with our neighbors, she didn't socialize with anyone from work becasue of her position, and I work an hour away from where we live. Effectivly we really didn't have any friends here and it took a toll on our happiness. My biggest regret is that I didn't nurture any friendships prior to our breakup. Make it tough.
Did I tell you I have always like Methodists LOL Sounds like a great round table
My wife has been a little better since I laid into her about our daughter. She spent the day with her doing girl things. My daughter really enjoyed it. Of course then when circus came into town I mentioned it was on the weekend my wife had her and she told me she was hoping it would pass without my daughter seeing it. ARG!!! That has always been her tactic. But all that does is keep her from going and then when the daughter hears about it later she realizes she missed out. She does this with anything she doesn't like to do. So I took her. Daughter loved it.
I think I am going to stop worring about how good her realtionship is with my daughter. At first I didn't want to be one of those Disneyland dads but having a wife in a MLC and not wanting to do anything with her daughter that is not fun for her puts a whole new spin on it.
Sounds like you are doing great as a dad!! And don't worry about the list. I have made one also. I think as hard as it is you still have to truly evaluate whether the realtionship is one to get back into given the chance. It will especailly help if you decide it is time to move on.
I believe that a huge difference between the spouse leaving and the one left is our focus. When you care about someone dearly you tend to ignore the faults and grieveances. Believe me I see my wife and fall back into it. And once I get away I start to remind myself of the list. Not saying do it but it helps me.
Having a child makes it difficult but i realize her need for a happy father is probablly as important as any other needs out there!!
Keep up the positive side!!!! And watch you daughter smile when you are down
