Reading the book he suggests might give you more insight into what he is going through. It also might really help you down the road. If you want him to hear you, maybe it would help to hear him.
Anyway, 5LL is a book that you can suggest as an easy, short read that will be helpful to him no matter where he winds up.
I have two suggestions for where you are at in your sitch. NOT necessarily for Newcomers. The Marriage Benefit Stop Blaming, Start Loving
H and I saw Fireproof together but I sure didn't plan it that way. I had just popped it in to watch on my own one night and was still looking for the remote when H drove in. It was actually uncomfortable for me to sit in the same room with H and watch Fireproof. It was so intense. I don't know if it was me or him but the rest of that weekend felt different in a good way. Monday came and we slipped back into our abnormal normal.
As for the Love Dare book, it seemed from the movie that each activity was planned to get a reaction from the spouse. Maybe the real intent is different and it is just hard to put it all into a movie.
AND then, maybe it's my jaded cynical brain after all these years, but the guys W came back after she found out who really forked over all the money. Until then she was still running to the OM. So is the message that money talks? If that's true then all I need is to bail my H out of debt and all will be well, right? No, I know that answer is no. If only my life was a movie and I could write the rewrite...
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
He wants me to read Rebuilding. It is about rebuilding your life after a divorce.
Funny thing though... he seemed so interested in getting the book and reading it... but it is still in the package from Amazon... sitting on the kitchen counter unopened...
Thanks for the suggestions WCW, I will check them out. That is an interesting take on Fireproof, btw,
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
I read the book To Good to Leave, To Bad to Stay and I cried. It made the marriage appear to be hopeless. Feel free to tell your H that.
Divorce Remedy is far better. It talks about the POSSIBILITY of saving your m. No guarantees of course, but then there is faith.
Try reading Separated and Waiting, Separated But Not Divorced, and The Power of a Praying Wife. All of them are faith based.
With DB, and these others, you learn to save yourself and step out on faith. Hitting your knees and praying helps a ton, because only He knows the roadmap.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
FWIW, my W read Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay while in the middle of her MLC. (I only know this because I found it tucked under the bed in the spare room.)
I read it too, on the sly, and I actually took a lot of hope from it. First, I saw that it represented some doubt in her mind - which was way different from the "I'm done and nothing's going to change things" face that she was putting on at the time. Second, I tried to read the book as if I were her, and found a lot of the sections were answered with "Most people in your position who stuck it out, were glad that they did so." FWIW!
The two books that she read which I think were really helpful were 5LL and Passionate Marriage. Not sure if she finished the second (it's NOT a light read) but she did acknowledge that there was a lot of truth in what it said about how things go "off the tracks". Again, FWIW!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
well dang... thanks for the heads up Mat. I did not notice that my thread locked. I suppose I could stay here for a while. I had planned to stay in Hopefullness, but I don't really know if that is appropriate any longer. I am hopeful but probably foolishly so.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
