letting go// any suggestions?

[peacetoday]

HI
I am having a lot of trouble letting go of OW
we typically can get along but

H over yesterday we are fightning
he wants to move on with oW
I am making it hard b/c I dont trust her around my kids
IN Mediation L got H to agree to giving SS# of OW for check as she is supposingly a newly recovering alcoholic/addict??
Im not sure if thats true as H has 20PLus years in AA
but H Fights to gets closer to OW as I am fighting to prevent Kids involved in their Love Affair
H denies it was a A
says M was over..only I didnt know
he stays in denial about any wrongs on his parts
he suggested I talk to OW
I said NO--I will not be her friend
Now im creating more animousity with H me and OW
and I will LOse this battle
she has already won him
he is clear about choosing her over working on this M
any thought
I know same issue over and over
I cant seem to let go and part of me feels like I made the whole A and seperation easy breezy for H to leave and have space..

I was loving, caring, non confriontive,,now it is over,, it didnt turn out the way I thought..I thought H would return
and I dont want to make everything so dam easy for H

peace