I have stopped pursuing, pouting, saying I love you, telling her she's a babe,buying things, writing notes, talking about us, ect... I did it for months after getting bombed last fall when I didn't know how to react. I've read DR among other books to give me ideas as to how to change my behavior. I am taking care of myself, I went out with an old buddy of mine last night and slept over without calling the W to tell her. I've never done that before. I changed my hairstyle, bought new cloths, dress better around the house, started working out, making meals from recipes I find, among other things. I still have to give this more time to see any effect it might have on the W. I'm also very patient and I've always been an optimist. We'll see.
