Maybe I should be in piecing part 6?

[Hope4us]

I don't know Mel, reading your latest response, it seems like you think I was commenting about your sitch, or accusing you of some things. If that's the case, you misunderstood. I was talking about my W. If you just needed to vent, no problem, vent away.

I'm not sure how I feel about Friday night. We left to go to the wedding, and the drive over was pretty quiet. W talked some, but it was pretty quiet. We got there, checked in to the hotel, then went to the reception.

Sat at a table with a group of people I/we used to work with before we moved over here. Had a good time. W was very talkative with everyone, which was good. She even gave a big hug to C, a friend of our who knows about W's A. No, I didn't tell everyone, but here is how C found out. C and her H both took Karate lessons where S20 did. I worked with C. Through work and karate, we became friends. Worked on a couple projects with her. They got married and bought their first house, which was a nice small house, but it needed a lot of work and her H has no skills in fixing up houses. At work one day, C was telling me how their bathroom was a disaster, but they couldn't afford to hire someone to fix it up so I told her I'd do it for them. Spent about a week fixing it up and that made us closer friends.

So one time about a year ago, I was in the home office for some meetings and I stopped by to talk to C. I asked how her kids were doing....great....I asked how her H was and she said, "well, I guess I should tell you, we're separated". I asked what happened and she said he'd had an A while she was pregnant with their first D and she forgave him and then he had another one shortly after their second D was born. She then said she didn't want to talk about it, but how was my W? I just looked at her and it came out, "I know what you're going through". And she said "W???" and I said yes.

And W knows she knows. So when C came up to us at the wedding and W jumped up out of the chair and gave her a big hug and told her she looked good and they had a nice conversation, I thought it was big.

We left the wedding and went to see our friends who just built the house. I know W was nervous. She had about 5 glasses of wine at the reception, and didn't eat anything, and with her only weighing about 110 lbs, she was pretty drunk. But we went to our friends house and had a really nice evening. W had a couple more glasses of wine. Oh boy. We stayed a while, talking, laughing, etc. Our friends are planning on coming to our house sometime soon and the W's are going to go shopping in Amish country.

All good right? Well, not so much. W made some comments to me and did a couple things throughout the night that really had an affect on me. I didn't call her on them because she was drunk and never would have remembered anyway, but there were a couple of things that just made me really wonder why I'm even trying.

Stupid things. Things I'm sure she used to justify the A in her head. And it hit me hard.

So then on Sat morning, I get up, take a shower, oh yeah, she slept on the couch in the hotel room, and went down to get some breakfast. I sat there for a while and then made up a plate and took it back to our room for W. Eggs, sausage, toast and coffee. Does she thank me? No, makes a comment because I didn't put hot sauce on her eggs. I know she was trying to be funny, but WTF?

Lets just say the ride home was quiet. She tried to talk to me some and I was polite, but I just couldn't bring myself to be my happy self and act "as if". Couldn't do it.

Funny thing is, some of the comments she made and the things we talked about with our friends convinces me even more that she's planning on staying and is getting better and feeling closer to me, but that just makes me ready to say F it even more. Everything is great for her, but what about me? When do I get ANYTHING I NEED?

Ok, I've rambled enough. We'll see what today holds.

Talk to you soon.