Took a deep breath and went to see soliciter on Friday.She was calm and supportive and listened carefully. She is going to contact H and begin settlement arrangements. She told me not to finalise the divorce yet as if we are divorced and he dies before settlement I would be in a bad position.This suits me as I dont want a divorce at all! Still heard nothing since my e-mail. He is probably feeling guilty and embarrassed at being found out staying with OW .I read something the other day that comforted me a lot. It was posted on a board here for someone else who didnt want to divorce but had no practical option. She was told"Divorce wont stop you reconciling in the future any more than marriage stopped him having affairs." It is my firm beleif that he will come back into my life at some point-maybe just as a friend. I do believe his Christmas e-mail where he said that he thinks about me every day and cant sleep because I must think he is just getting on with life and doesnt care.He has always had no problem compartmentalising things and hiding his feelings.I am stronger by the day, the birds are singing,the sun shines,my little dog has such joy in life it lifts my spirits and God is in control.I feel I am more in control now too.
