Another One Bites the Dust (3)

[No Longer BH]

<Sigh> I hate that I had to see him, that my 4 months of NC have pretty much gone done the drain. I woke up to a couple of different emails from him. See, now he is feeling really good because he gets to act like the shiny knight saving the day. I have to just swollow it all until the D is final.

THe first email was him thanking me once again for opening up to him and explaining some of the reasons behind the decisions I made. He is glad to see that we are not thinking the worst of eachother, that we are trying to rebuild trust. <Snort> Yeah, right, like Im going to trust him with anything and I still think he is a no good mother F'er who deserves every bad thing that comes his way. I swear he must not have heard half of what I said because I really let him have it. Even said I didnt know how he could look at himself in the mirror, that he should be so filled with shame over what he has done.....anyway, I digress. In his email he tells me that he has made Jan house payment and that he is giving me some money. It is still $1000 short of what he is suppose to give me. I was so pissed off. He is expecting me to pat him on the back and thank him when he still is not fulfilling his obligations. What a self centered @ss!

I replied back that I am glad he has finally made a house payment but he still owes me more than what he just gave me. I also told him not to worry about trying to change the insurance because if he was agreeable on Wed, we could be D in 30-45 days. That was not enough time to get my surgery scheduled. I said I am just going to have to learn to get by w/o coverage. He responds back that I will have cobra for 3 years.....um, no I wont. I cant afford the $500 a month payment. He said that you never know what Wed will bring. He is trying to make me think that he is going to take care of me. Last time he made that promise, he came back offering a 1/3 of the alimony that the courts would have granted me. He is just such a smuck. I think it is sad that he is still trying to seek my approval for things so that he doesnt have to feel so bad for what he has done. After all, if I can be grateful to him then he must be an ok kind of guy. It is so clear to me now. I can see it for the BS it is. It is all about him, has nothing to do with actually doing the right thing for me or Owen. I am trying not to rock the boat until Wed in hopes of getting an easier settlement. Once that paper is signed it is NC all the way. Life is so much easier when I dont have to deal with him. ITs funny, me going NC really really bothered him. GUess he will get a taste of it agian when things are done. GOd, I miss the peace that I had there for awhile, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.......