hey everybody! ive been floating around in the shadows for several months now and feel like i need to get some outside perspective on my situation. i must say that after reading some of the posts that i should feel quite lucky that im in as good shape as i am. i discovered, by snooping, that my W was having an A about 4 months ago. i'll be the first to admit that i have neglected her over the past number of years. she says its been 12 years so i'll go with that. the past 4 have been spent working our butts off getting our own business off the ground and it cost me dearly. Two years ago we met someone at church that i thot was my friend but he had other ideas. they saw each other for a year and a half before it became a PA. After it all came out, she told me she was planning to leave me and the kids,S14,D11, for this guy but he didnt want to support 2 families. he has 2 d's,20and13. Right now we are at a point where i think she wants to make it work but its hard to know. i know we didnt get here overnight and it wont get "fixed" overnight. she insists that we need to get C individually before we try any MC. I dont have a problem with that as long as i know there is a possibilty of MC down the line somewhere. i know that i have the advantage of still being in the same house and all, and my heart breaks for those of you that dont have that. i guess my big question is how long before she believes the changes ive made are going to last. i know its impossible to predict and i have to keep on doing what seems to be working, but it seems so unfair that im the one doing the changing when im not the one that cheated. i know what the "right" answers to most of my questions are, but my heart has a hard time catching up with my head. id appreciate some feedback from some of you "veterans" that ive been following. Y'all have more stamina than i think ive got. guess we dont know till we get there. i have been reading DR and LL and wish i'd have read that stuff 10 years ago. woulda shoulda coulda. thanks for letting me vent k
