If I understand you right, you are getting something in writing b/c you are leaving the state and you fear that once you do that, you'll be at a disadvantage legally, correct? You are afraid she'll do something to you while you are out of state? I can see that. But you are not thinking straight if you don't have an attorney review it. That's my 2 x 4.
I have more to say on the other stuff, but for now, you have only one thing to choose between; what works and what doesn't. We don't know what, IF ANYTHING, will get your wife back. WE DO know what won't. Pursuing her at this time, won't work. Hasn't yet. And acting in anger has made things worse as well. So you say you do own your part in some of the issues; like losing some of the ambitions and drinking too much. She will need to know, WITH TIME, that you really are sober. That you are on track. That you bring something to the table; and you are doing that with the Florida endeavor, it sounds like. So that's cool. You identified the rest as far as being upbeat, attractive, etc. Did your attitude of complacency lead to getting out of shape or something? I know that is superficial but that is her mode right now. It's all about the surface right now. Time erodes the surface of things and will reveal what matters most; things like character, fatherhood, honor, etc. Things you will be manifesting the next few months. I think in a way Florida will allow you to detach better though you'll miss the kids a lot. But the changes you'll make, will be more noticeable to her upon your return. Dress differently and do some 180's. Join something you always wanted to join, or take a class or hobby deal that you never made time for before. If your training prevents that for now, so be it. But show some sort of 180 and act different on the phone with her asap. Be the one to end the conversations; politely, b/c you are busy moving forward...you have things to do, people to meet, places to go, etc. Upbeat, but moving on. Let her see a bit of mystery. That will NOT make her think you don't care. Please. Pursuing and manipulating things to control the outcome will not work and will push her away more. Let go of the results, leave those to God. Do your best as a man.
Your other goals will require a big focus on the kids; how to keep in touch with them from Florida and how to resume your R's with them when you return to Texas. As I recall, there is no alimony in Texas, nor are there fault grounds for divorce other than fraud or insanity (sorry, as crazy as she's acting, it won't meet the legal definition but just so I'm clear, I am NOT giving you legal advice here, okay? )) You need to see an attorney there as I don't know all your facts and do want to be clear.
However, if you have half custody of the kids, you're entitled to a share of HER income since there is a disparity. Do NOT sign away any custody rights. Texas favors shared custody. So when you see a lawyer (let your w babble about "you delaying things" if she wants; you are trying to protect your rights as a father and if that takes time, so be it. What the heck is the rush anyhow? Does she have any regard for the wife and children of OM? Interesting how off the path she has gotten. ) But it isn't just paying 25% of his salary and giving up half the community property that happens, he'll have to pay for transportation of the kids to and from him if needed and she'll probably have to do the same if she moves...but I sure would like to see them stay in one place and can tell you the court will likely prefer that. They want stability for the kids and that is what you have to offer them. God knows the kids want that too. They'll see her wackiness and your absence at the same tinme. That's tough. So, make sure you call often. Really often.
Show your strength in this arena as it won't come off as vindictive as long as it comes from a place of fatherly love, make sense? IOW, assert yourself there in a calm way. I cannot stress to you how attractive it is to a woman when a man who is asserting a legitimate right, does so calmly and without rancor. Not to punish or "show her"...but to protect his offspring. It is also a great model for your kids to see what a man of honor and dignity does in the face of this betrayal. Someday, they too will be hurt deeply and face huge setbacks. It's your job to show them that even though your pain is deep, it is not fatal and it is not eternal. You will heal and you will love again. Perhaps it'll be their mother, whom you will always honor as the mother of their children even if she acts otherwise...
Perhaps it'll be someone else...but for now, you have enough on your plate. You are doing so well for being in such a new place of confusion and darkness. I don't believe anyone gets out of these episodes well, without God, however you understand Him. Lean on Him, b/c He will help strengthen you thru this more than you thought possible.
I never prayed so much in my life. Sometimes I just had to turn it over to Him, b/c otherwise the anger would consume me. I literally would say that out loud in the shower, "God I turn this M over to you, (or) "I turn this pain/anger over to you" b/c it was too much and too heavy for me to carry. You may want to try that Kev.
You are in the right place, however dark it is right now. It DOES get better and hey, I promise you that. ((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
