Standing on the Edge

[native]

Msm, thanks for sharing...this whole thing is like slowly dying...but, not to be too metaphysical, there will be a rebirth. I can feel it already.

In a sense, I have really begun to let her go. I still feel a lot of anger sometimes, but I am beginning to think of life without her.

It would be so much easier without the thought of what my D will be losing......................................................

I went out tonight to two fundraisers for a neighborhood boy who has been diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. I talked briefly with his mom, who lives three houses down. She knew about our seperation. We both knew what it was like when something unexpected comes our way, that puts all your dreams and expectations on hold....as the music from the band played we shared our mutual pain and understood each others sadness.

It was a good night. The neighborhood progressive dinner was a good chance to connect with others who know of us and let them know what was happening. We have very close community of friends on our street, which unfortunatly my wife and I have not always been a part of.

Later, the second fundraiser consisted of people from the church I attend, which is also the church of the family with the boy, Matthew, who has muscular dystropy.

I came in at 8 when it started and felt uncomfortable so I left. I sat in my car and listened to music for a while and contemplated going home. I had connected for no one the 20 minutes I had been in there. Most were married.

I decided to go back in after about an hour and the party was a lot more relaxed. People were dancing and mingling a lot more. I eventually started talking to people and enjoying myself. I can experience shyness if I don't know the people well.

I got invited to take part in several things the church is doing, like softball and a tuesday night roundtable discussion of the previous Sunday's sermon at a local pub, under the influence of Guinness. Well, that is one thing I appreciate about Methodists!