She can't make up her mind

[Still Waters]

No not at all! I'm not saying you're a sucker if you take her back. Isn't that what we're all doing on here? Hoping that our spouses will allow us to give them, and our marriages, a second chance?

I'm saying that you shouldn't let her keep cake eating like she is. Don't talk about how you're going to set it up so that she can come live with you in this new city whenever she wants to. If you do that, why wouldn't she explore a relationship with this new guy? She knows she'll always have you to fall back on.

You need to project an image of a man who can and will move on with, or without, your W. Show her that you are a strong man, and that you have patience, but that every day that goes by without her cutting off contact with the OM is a day that you lose some of that patience. And that one day you won't be there to take her back. That day has not come, but it will one day if she continues her A.

The main thing you need to do right now is to work on yourself and go dark, or at least dim, with your W. You can't control her, but you can state your boundaries, go dark, and GAL.