my H has said many times over the last year "I don't care about anything, not her(ow), not you, not even myself" This is the one thing that he says that I believe 100%. And it is so sad.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
My ex does not pay much attention to my two girls.
He pays alot of attention and time to my son.
It is almost like he is trying to live his life through my son.
Vicariously
Very weird.
Also very sad for my girls.
I know one day he will regret it.
My ex will continually say to my kids that, "this is his time to live", "he will do what he wants when he wants".
Little do these ML'ers know that this does not bring happiness.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
It is so sad that they don't realise how much time they are missing with the family. They don't care, and that is one thingthat bothered me.How could a person do that to their own kids??? That is when I realised that MLC was truly a sickness. My h would let me in sometimes on how he was feeling. He would tell me that his mind would race all the time and he couldn't shut it off. He said it was his time and he deserved it. He didn't have any concept of time.
When I started reading about MLC, all his fit my H to a tee. What they really need is time to work through all of their issues. Watching him go through this was so heart wrenching.
Well, I'm not watching my ex go thru this b/c he is so far away but I read about MLC also, everything that book said also fit my ex to a tee!! Down to the way his parents were. I just wonder if he will ever come out of this & come back around.
Thanks YR. I it always good to hear a perspective from someone that has seen the other side. Did your h ever admit to regretting the time he didn't spend with family? How did he finally reconnect with those he hurt?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Yes, he did say he regretted it. I think he will till the day he dies.
He reconnected very slowly. He did keep the R with our S but S go sick of his mess so he backed away from his dad. He started reconnecting with the dogs first, can you believe that???? Then back with my S. My D was next and then my GD. Of course, I was the last one on the list. It took a long time for him to even feel comfortable around me again.
Gosh Everyone....I so don't feel so alone anymore....
It's so amazing how all these MLCers are exactly the same...even down to what they say to us....we look at them and they tell us all these horrible things and they look so sure of themselves...and we truly believe them...because in reality we dont know if what they are saying is true or not or how they are feeling...my H personally never says how HE feels just that, "we're not like that anymore or I need to move on, it's over, divorce happens everyday"...or "the kids will be fine if you stop moping around (I don't mope)"...I wish you could just slap them back into reality...
For me, being able to come here and talk to all of you especially YR, who I've adopted as my DB mom, gets me through for a few more days....I've been at this for 2 years...that's when it comes full circle and you realize it's over...it's a long time, and they have moved on with their OW or whatever it is...
Relationships with my girls is heartbreaking...they adored their father....he was their hero....the funny man...and now they've written him off....very sad...but he is still connected to my son...and when my son goes with him he always looks back at me and the look is his eyes...welll....it makes me cry...it's almost like he doesn't want to go...why, because there comes a time when the disney part wears off....he just wants to sit with his dad and watch TV or silly stuff...S11 and I will sit for hours on the couch, as he holds my hand, and just lets me love on him....
I pray all of our H's wake up and see what they are missing...the OP can only fill so much....I have 30 years...she'll never come close to that...NEVER!
As my H says, "divorce with us in inevitable"..I may end up poor and without H but I have my 3 beautiful children...that's more than money can buy....
Today I feel good, tomorrow is another day...but one day at a time, right MOM!!!
Love ya YR!!!
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
