How long does these childish relationships last? Does anyone know? Does the WAS usually fall hard when they meet ow?
Who knows....Listen it is absolutely pointless to try and time stamp ANYTHING when it comes to this. EVERYTHING is irrational. You said it "childish" is exactly what it is. It revisiting childhood in many many ways. One of the hardest things to accept is when we tell you that he is not the man you know right now, You have to realize that. He is gone....will he be back, I think someday....but this takes YEARS.
Do you want to look back on your life after all of this and regret that you didn't live those years to the fullest because you were caught up in the insanity that you have no control over or do you want to look back and say you know, I walked through hell and did it with beautiful stregnth and loving grace. During that time I allowed it to change me for the better. There are some really valuable lessons here to grow you into a much better you. THAT is all you can do right now.
Be a good example for your son. TEACH him how to handle this in a powerful way. Show him just how strong you are.You have to accept that you have no control over this. It's terrible...believe me I'm right smack in the middle of it with you along with everyone else here.
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My xh said he would never live with anyone and anyone would never live with him. When I asked him about this ow staying with him every night. He said, "she just spends the nights, she doesnt live here" HELLO, isnt that the same thing?
Sounds like a teenager right? Remember that when you deal with him, he is an emotional, irrational teen for now. He will never have a serious, deep loving relationship with anyone will in outerspace. He can't. They USE each other. They fill a void in themselves in a shallow superficial way.
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I try so hard not to think about them, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesnt. I am trying to GAL the best way I know how. How do you get the other ow and xh off your min?
Patience and time....Loads of it. For both of you. You have to make the effort to focus on you. How do you learn something new?? You do it with practice. You take one step at a time. Pamper yourself, change something about you that needs change. Try something new. Go do something you have always wanted to but couldn't. You are giving him all of your power and energy.
Taking care of you is all you can do for now. You have to just leave him be and allow this process to change you and him for the better. The more he is focused on blaming you for all his problems the longer this will take. You can make this longer and more difficult if you choose to.
One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
