Some truths are subjective. So right and wrong are degrees.
Some are absolute, math and internal feelings, being skinny.
For your kids, be the best mom for them, right now you're upset at him for 'hurting' the kids, so you want him to hurt, or you want him around...really? You want him to be an influence on them? No you really don't. Right now they are an excuse for you to have him around. And you're angry at him not only only for hurting you but 'hurting' them.
The kids are currently not going to make him stay, you don't want him around for the wrong reasons. You think you do but you really really don't.
Hey Jack, I love that you ask the difficult questions. I am usset that he is hurting the kids but honestly, I try very hard not to hurt him. I try so hard that I'd rather not have any contact. I try so hard that I only make small talk. I try so hard, my face is sore from smiling at my H. I don't want him around now, no. I am much more comfortable when he is not here. But in my heart of hearts, I hope one day he will see that through all of these tumultuous times, I treated him with kindness and compassion and held my dignity. That one day, when he wakes up from MLC, that I was not an b*tch,, whether or not we will ever reconcile. I guess I need him and my kids to see that just because someone treats you badly, that doesn't give your reason to retaliate. I guess it's the 'Love Thy Enemy' thing. I don't want to be consumed by bitterness and resentment for the rest of my life, that would be like putting myself in shackles. I really don't want our R to become ugly, because then I will be reliving my pain again and again. I really really just want some peace.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
