Yes, she's cake-eating. Or not so much cake-eating as "normalizing." Her texts are a form of "is he fine with all of this?", and you absolutely don't want to play into that.
How/how fast DID you respond? You never said. You should not respond to these AT ALL, and when she asks if you're ignoring her (and she will), just say "Oh, sorry -- I've just been really busy, and forgot to reply" or some such.
And then see to it that you truly ARE legitimately busy!
Thanks for the reply.. I thought that was the case..
I didn't respond right away. But after the exchange I felt like I was not doing something right. Especially after the email she sent out to some other guy.
Okay...Now I feel like I'm refining the approach.. Thanks Pup.
I was really upset with myself after I replied.
V
***Getting up every day and learning to breathe in a new me. For me and my children***
Me: 43 W: 38 SD-15 S(s): 12,9,7 Separated-2/14/2009 My sitch
Don't worry about it. One of the great things about DBing is that you learn that the relationship isn't as fragile as you think it is. It's a form of vanity, of pride, I guess that we think that JUST THE RIGHT COMBINATION OF WORDS from us can change things and make them all okay . . . or can screw things up.
Well my wife is 100%/100 hundred miles an hour trying to hook up with other men. An email (series) confirmed it. This isn't just an OM. She is hellbent on hooking up with another guy. She just ended and EA. I don't even know this woman anymore!
We agreed that this sep was to work on ourselves... It's exactly what Puppy said: I'm out of the way and she can go at it like a crazy woman...
Can DBing really work on someone that is seemingly losing her mind?
She is destroying what I feel for her..
I actually typed up an email that reads:
Anay,
I told you that I was serious about the purpose of this separation. I meant it when I said keeping 3rd parties out of it until you and I figured this out between us. Apparently you will not do this.
I do not want a divorce. This is not what I want. However, you seem intent on seeing what is out there for yourself. I won't stand in the way of your happiness. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Jeff
A big part of me just wants to get away from this. It's insane! She is stepping across every boundary I have. Before I sent this I wanted to run it by you all instead of reacting. I haven't sent it....
I am beyond on this one.
V
***Getting up every day and learning to breathe in a new me. For me and my children***
Me: 43 W: 38 SD-15 S(s): 12,9,7 Separated-2/14/2009 My sitch
I will just go extremely dark and see how this plays out. Not sure what is going through her head. This is so not like her. Not sure if this will be a phase or who she is becoming.
***Getting up every day and learning to breathe in a new me. For me and my children***
Me: 43 W: 38 SD-15 S(s): 12,9,7 Separated-2/14/2009 My sitch
I'm sorry. I wouldn't send anything or do anything until Puppy gets back. I think he would tell you not to do anything except keep racking up your intel anyway.
I just wanted you to know that someone is listening out here!!
You can't rationalize irrational. All you can do is wait for it to pass.
Just know we are here.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
Only got a second, but don't do anything yet. And do NOT -- EVER -- reveal the source of your intel.
If she's about to hook up with one of these guys, however, all bets are off. In that case, you need to confront her, but NOT tell her how you know -- just that you do.
I'm curious how your wife is doing in her job-hunting. Seems to me she's substituting man-hunting. Is the only job she's ever had "wife"? If you want the marriage, you don't need to back out so quickly. It's not so easy to find a new husband to support a family of 5. Of course, then you need to be prepared for her to come back because she has no other option financially. She really should get a resume together and look for a job.
