Just want to mention that my W was also doing the "want to remain friends, you are still D4's Dad and I would invite you to family gatherings etc" bit.

I told her I cannot remain friends with her, and would have nothing to do with her except in dealings with D4. She got pissed, then upset and gave me the "if you truly loved me you would want to have something rather than nothing". I stuck to my guns and told her that I would be too hurt by her giving up on us to be around her.

This was a sobering moment for her, as she realized it wasn't going to be the fantasy she envisaged.

Yes, it is an ultimatum of sorts, and it could backfire, but I think it shows integrity and forces them to consider what they truly stand to lose.

Spellfire aka Mike

"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A