Just keep swimming...PH #4

[pearlharbr]

Ok, I know everyone thinks I should be gone before xBF arrives tomorrow. I just can't shake the idea of being here. Two main reasons:

1) Get the check so I can deposit it immediately.
2) Make sure OW is not helping him move.

Why can't he give me the whole amount? I have no idea. I think he's still trying to avoid tax penalties for gifting over a certain amount. That was the point of the transfer into a joint account. He doesn't know that I plan to immediately move the money into a personal account anyway. I couldn't care less about his tax issues.

I know I shouldn't give a rat's a$$ about OW and usually I don't. But the thought of her stepping foot in my house just drives me crazy.

What would I say to him if he started R talk? "You're still having an affair. We have nothing to discuss." And then walk out smiling.

I got myself some roses that I will leave in my bedroom. Working on a bottle of wine now.

So I guess I need everyone to talk me out of being here tomorrow when he shows up.

[JDOllie]

I am sticking my toe back in, Pearl - I stepped back a bit because I made the mistake of implying you were "excited". Your initial response didn't seem to imply either way, so I was just covering the bases.

However, I'm SO glad you have seen this correctly. If xBF is having second thoughts, it's not going be some wimpy rambling second thoughts.

I saw someone say sometime, "He should be willing to crawl through broken glass for me."

BAM - there ya go.

[pearlharbr]

Sorry JD, I didn't mean to come across as snapping at you. I wasn't! And I know I didn't convey my feelings in that initial post, I was shaking with rage and was trying to get the post up and get out of the house before I broke something!

[Tawnya]

{{{Pearl}}} It is a dilemma and only YOU know the best thing for YOU to do..I think if you can handle what you said, about being okay in all of those scenarios, then YES stay, but, if you don't want to be there, that is okay too..it IS a lot to handle when face to face with it!

Whatever you decide, let us know and we are here with you and for you!

Tawnya

[gucci loafer]

So I guess I need everyone to talk me out of being here tomorrow when he shows up.

It isn't a big deal whether you are home or not when he comes over. The key is how you handle the situation if you do stay.
As long as you don't pursue him or get emotional in front of him and stay calm, cool and collected, then it could even be used to your advantage.

He has no power over you. It is only in your mind if you think he does. You have been doing just fine. I would assume he puts his pants on one leg at a time like most all men do.

So to conclude. Don't make being there or not being there a big deal that is causing you to worry. If you want to be home, then be home. If not, leave. He has been coming toward you and not the other way around. This would lead me to think that he is going to be the one that is going to be on pins and needles. He just wrote to you to tell you that he is sorry and wants to try again. Even if he didn't walk on razor blades and come crawling to you, it still shows and tells us that he wants you back. Just remember that he is still with the OW and there is no reason for you to share with him or any other man like that.

Trust in yourself here. You are fine. Believe that.

[gucci loafer]

By the way...

If you do stay, I would still have the empty wine bottle and such as my friends and let us not forget about you getting an unexpected phone call that makes you start whispering and rushing off to another room.... (At least it has always worked on the men that I know....

[pearlharbr]

Thanks Gucci

I'm going for my walk now which usually centers me. I'm sure I'll figure it out then. Have already planted the wine bottle and glasses (had a couple drinks last night!) and flowers. Don't know if I can pull off the phone call but I'll see if I can get a friend lined up if I do decide to be here.

[kassie]

{{{P}}}}

Keep us informed of what you do and how it went. I am sure you will do what you need to do.

[pearlharbr]

So after all the preparation, I just saw that I got a text from xBF about half an hour ago:

I will not be picking up the stuff today - my identity has been compromised and I need to clear something up first.

Sigh.

So I can stop scurrying around to pick up the house!

Still going out to the movies later this afternoon. I just don't have to rush now.

Wondering if this is just a ploy...

[pearlharbr]

Well, just got another text:

Can I stop by today or tomorrow and play with the cats?

Will wait about 20 minutes then text back today is fine.

I'm already going out anyway! I certainly don't want/need to be here now. Pfftt.