Hi PM, I just sent a long post and then lost it.... \:\( so I won't try to write another long one. However, I did want to respond to this:

Quote:
And yes, if I do move, that would light a fire under him but I would do that only if 'I' want to do it for me and the kids, not to manipulate H.


I did mean exactly that when I was talking about the possibility of you moving back home, but may have failed to point it out. I do not believe in manipulation in anything.

I know you have a big decision and I will not pressure you b/c it is your life. However, if it would take that long to prepare for the move and you think you may need to have a "time frame", would it help distract you from the stitch a little bit by setting a time and begin working on the steps you would need to make to prepare for the move? If it takes that long, you may need to, unless it is a situation that cannot be reversed once it is put into motion. I can't think of anything that could not be reversed, but I don't know everything involved and it is none of my business.

PM, in reading your posts you sound like such a compassionate person who loves at such a deep level that we all can sit up and take notes from you. I see a lot of "grace" in your writings. I have to admire that. You do not sound at all like a weak person. Your strength shows through what you say. Your parents did a good job raising you! I hate that both you and your H live so far away from family. You may be right in that he fell into a mode of (lifestyle ?) at the work place. That seems to be happening a lot these days. So many marriages are being torn apart by A's at the office.

Well, my son has just come in, so I need to go. I'll talk soon

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!