Day 9 and going strong, thoughts of her while driving home from my cousins last night. I let them be. Slept good last night. Still cloudy, but I am no longer worried about that. My attitude is working and i have a good weekend coming up. Might be going out with my son tonight, shoot pool or whatever, tomorrow night over friends for dinner and a couple of beers and a movie, sunday, down day, no company, no plans. Me a nice dinner and some movies.....I have to revieiw some tech manuals for work, but I'll do that between naps and commercials.
I am doing good, better than I had expected. No dreams of her or with her, no images of walks either. Going to church tomorrow morning, feels like a long time since I walked through those doors. I am almost a third of the way to my goal, 30 days of this attitude. Once I hit that i will extend the goal. feeling good, feeling more happy with myself. Strange, never thought I'd feel this way again.
Going crazy at work. My attitude is much like yours now. I feel less anxious and more solid if you know what I mean. I don't look over my shoulder and just keep taking care of things in front of me. I have already seen the positive results of my "attitude" after only a few days. It is amazing. but, i need to keep it going for 30 days and then increase it. Have a great weekend.
Starting Day 10. Felt a little somber last night, but also coming down with the flu, so...I have a very busy day startingin 15 minutes. Need to get my stuff to make the best Chili in the world, church, home to dice and slice and crock all my ingredients, haircut, home to gather up everything, over best friends house, get stuff set up, relax by 12:30.......thats it... Tomorrow, really chilling..
Sounds like a good time. Just keep in mind to take good care of yourself when your sick and that we have a tendency to get down about things when we are not feeling well, it's normal.
Chili recipe is simple. I will write it all out for all of you tomorrow. Thru Day 11. Went ok, got drunk last night and had a blast. Although today I don't feel good about letting down my control of myself. Going dry again. I am not a screaming alcoholic, but I like being in control of all my situations. This doesn't happen ofetn , but two saturdays in row is one too many.
Attitude is good. D17 told me W was over thrusday night, when I went and saw my cousin. she asked D17 where I was. When D17 told her, she asked why I went down there. d17 said I don't know, he jsut did. she knew why, but told me she didn't thnk it was any of her business what I do. I didn't ask why she came over or anything. she worked yesterday because she kept calling from the store to talk to D17. when she finally got hold of her, she only talked for a few minutes.
Son told me that he and D17 got into it last tuesday. He told me she said some very hurtful things about me. didn't want to hear it but he told me anyway. She said her mother told her that I treated her badly for a couple of years and thats why she left. D17 told my son if dad had treated me like that I would have left too. Quite honestly I treated her like a queen, always. I was jealous of her heavy flirting, but other than that. Hurt to hear it. But it was also right after I had blasted her on the phone.
More justification on W part I guess. sucks to think she was telling D17 things like that. But....
Still feel like the flu is coming on me. Hopefully I kick it this week.
D12 tomorrow, one day at a time. Talked to a friend of mine the other day (text). I told him how I was going back to church and had given my situation over to God. His response was, good, I think you will be heavily rewarded soon!!!!! very nice to see that.
Aynway, go to fly check you all out tomorrow with the chili recipe...
