Cinders is great. Amy C is great but will beat you around the head if you are stupid. Brand New Day and Yellow Rose are those 'success' stories you newbies think are the 'success' stories you come here looking for. Even though they are but not because they are still married. Lola is inspirational T2 is great even if she is a little down right now there are a ton of women here who are amazing, and as a guy, I think I just offended each one I failed to mention.
Terese is a great example of not giving up. 25 years has wonderful insight and again one of the 'successes'
You get people to post to you by posting to them and building a rapport, support group and friendship with them.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I am going to second what Jack said about not saying anything to your friends. It can come back to haunt you. This is where counselors are nice if you have insurance (or not) You can go to one of them and tell them your worst nightmares and know that your spousse will never hear it.
I will reach out to them. I just need to scream one moment and then I'm so happy and filled with hope the next. I read something about "backlash" here and meant to ask my DB coach about it but I forgot. Basically, you have a great day, night, moment or whatever with your spouse and then the next day they're jerky to you.....anyone else enjoying this? Any insight?
You will get more responses if you talk/post to others.
That right there 'backlash' one of the better signs of MLC, which while sucks, is far better than having a spouse that is done with you, fully and completely.
Here is the deal. I wasn't joking about posting to other people to get a support group and friends going. You really should do that. Not doing that sort of tells me you don't think you need to work at this, that people should cater to you, which means...on some level you feel this way about your husband.
Work on changing yourself, find the things you simply do not like about yourself, and work to making yourself better by getting rid of those things. More often than not, those things you do not like about yourself...neither does your husband. You don't change for him, you change for you and doing that, the changes stick and aren't a trick to get him back. He will notice, but not if you point the changes out to him.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
They suck you in and spit you back out and when you react negatively to this in any way shape or form it feeds the monster. Don't do it, act as if your happy.
They also become experts at sensing your emotions, probably due to the fact that is all they are operating on.
There are plenty of wonderful people here willing to help. He is right. You should start posting to others. I will be glad to offer any advice, I am right smack in the middle of it too, but you should try to find and develop a good relationship with some of the females on the board, he named some great ones.
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