One way to rationalize what I do is that her job requires her to be on call 24/7 and there have been many nights and days when she hasn't been home. She's a midwife. So I do have to pick up the slack when she's not around.
You don't have to pick up the slack - that's another 180
Her job is her concern and dealing with that and things at home have to be her concern now as well since she wants to separate and leave you. She will have to come up with a method of doing this eventually - you are enabling her by helping her. Pull back and stop helping her, become busier yourself.
You are rationalizing things with her, you have to do this because of this, and you have to do that because of that. When in actuality, you don't.
She is used to having you in her life and taking care of things for her - if she really wants to leave, she won't have that option anymore, I hope you can see that.
Plus I could tell she lost weight that's why I mentioned it. She's getting ready for the single life and trying to make herself more attractive to other people. The only thing I can say about the "divorced wives club" is that they start out pretty strong & united but after a while, the tight knit group dynamic doesn't last. Don't know why but they eventually get lives, busy again, some of them may start new relationships, some may go back to their spouses. Plus the emotional support they give themselves at first fades fast, it's replaced with having fun, partying, actively seeking external validation (attention) from other men and generally being stupid.
Seriously - your 180 is to start doing less and to start taking care of yourself and your needs more than hers.
It's hard but you have to do it, especially if you've always been the spouse that was there for the other person and took care of most household chores and tasks.
