when my wife told me to leave our home after she dropped the bomb and wanted to separate, I did everything to please her and that included still sharing a bank account and having my paychq deposited there. I was responsible for all of our expenses (mortgage, property tax, bills, groceries, etc.) and my own expenses (apartment rent, utilities, food, etc.) and I practically lived on credit fumes because she started spending more & more money with little regard for how I was doing. I woke up and stopped taking that treatment - I enabled her and allowed her to do it and got mad at her for doing it but I should have been mad at myself for enabling her in the first place - when I realized this first part, that's when things started to change.
Stop enabling your wife.
Stop being there for her.
And yes, do this for your own well being - you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else.
