If this is recent and hasn't been that long a separation, ie. few days/weeks vs. few months. Stop it and turn it around. She can live downstairs and you will take the master bedroom - that's another total 180 for you, showing that you value yourself enough not to submit and accept her treatment & her reality.
You're not being mean, you are just standing up for yourself and telling her that you respect yourself.
The easy & hard way to do this is to move back into your bedroom and do not ask for permission, you don't need permission to do this. This is your home, it's your bedroom.
Don't rationalize it by saying you like living in the basement - I'm sure you preferred sleeping in your bedroom (who wouldn't).
If she doesn't like it, too bad for her.
Take back your room, your space and tell her that since this is what she wants, a separation, she can have it but it won't be at the expense of your self-esteem and self-respect.
You are a parent, showing your kids that you respect yourself and love yourself is the only way they are going to learn to do the same in their lives - if you buckle and become a doormat, they will learn to do the same and that would be a horrible fate for them.
Stop being a doormat, don't let her walk all over you, don't let her dictate how you live your life if she doesn't want to be part of it anymore. I don't care how angry she gets, just stand your ground and tell her that's the way it's going to be.
Respect yourself - don't wait months to learn that this works, just do it. The longer you wait, the more courage it will take on your part to do any of these things.
She has lost attraction for you and it's possible she has felt this way for quite some time. Buckling and doing everything she says, and doing everything for her won't make her more attracted to you. Don't be an a$$hole about any of this, just do it calmly and in a way that you will respect yourself for owning the strength you have inside you.
It is very hard, it may very well be the most difficult thing you've ever done in your life but starting now instead of several months from now will save you alot of frustration.
