letterman, I'll keep this short but I'll post again later on.
You do too much for her, your 180 would be to stop doing things for her if it's always been your way to take care of her and doing things around the house. She needs to see what it's like when you won't be there helping all the time.
I know about the "divorced wives club" - that's what I called my wife's friends (same idea, all divorced) and trust me, they are influencing her and you can't do to much about it. They are telling her that life is better single, you don't need your husband, time to loosen up, hit the bars, get attention from other men, experiment, the whole deal. You will even notice that your wife is probably improving her appearance: I wouldn't doubt it if she starts going to the gym regularly, starts eating better, starts buying new clothes, shoes, new hairstyle, all being done to improve her appearance and pump up her self-esteem as per her "friends" advice.
