1. Stay calm and peaceful. 2. Validate what she's feeling. 3. Convince her that I'll do the grocery shopping for the week (a complaint of hers) 4. Sleep in the same be two night. 5. Do something fun together over the weekend - movie, ice skating, something that doesn't require that much talking.
Good plan! Going dark is not the answer right now. Add to this list that you WILL NOT initiate a relationship convo. If she starts one, then validate and get it to closure as quickly as possible. Take the pressure off. Be enjoyable to be around.
I don't know where a lot of this "hard ass" advice is coming from in terms of "intel" and other stuff. Snooping and demands are not how to BUST A DIVORCE! Sure, the majority of those here have dealt with affairs. It is tough... But the militant approach is not how you save a marriage. You might put a stopper on the current affair but you'll be back here wondering WTF if you don't adopt the principles of DB.
If you want a chance at keeping the marriage together DESPITE the affair, follow the advice in DB and take care of the things you can control. Any possible affair would NOT be one of those things. All you can control is how you handle that.
