This morning W & I met with a developmental psychologist to give an overview of S11 developmental progress since birth. W decided that he needs to be in counseling because he's having a difficult time with transition, that being our separation and the uncertainty of how things are going to turn out.
I arrived 5 minutes early and W arrived at same time. I tried talking with her about light stuff, and she was very very cold. Looking straight ahead, no eye contact, one or two word answers, and again she had this look on her face like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.
I'm having a lot of difficulty navigating this mine field I'm in because: 1) She spends the majority of the time with the kids, and I'm less and less involved with their lives, knowing what's going on, what issues or problems they are having 2) I'm trying to give her the space she has asked for, yet in doing so I'm also creating space between me and the kids 3) I told her that next week I will be spending 3 nights at the house instead of the normal 2 and she got all flustered and thinks it's bad for the kids because we are not giving them consistency 4) I feel like every week that goes by, there's more distance between us, and I'm really afraid that she's getting more and more used to me not being around
She used to be much more cordial when I was around more often, and even though I was pursuing, it seemed like we were on better ground than we are now.
I'm having trouble determining wether what I'm doing is working, or if it's just pushing her further away.
How do I make that determination? Do I just stay the course? Should I be trying something else?
I realize I'm a bit scattered, but that's how I'm feeling. Spending an hour with a counselor, talking about S11 problems without talking about M was very surreal.
