Yoyo's Playhouse

[Yoyowife]

Wow, Saffie these are some tough questions! Let me think about it. Not sure I can honestly answer them.

Yoyo,

I know this seems a hard question, but do you think your H has feelings for you, or do you think he is just scared that you will go for him financially?

Believe me, I've often wondered this myself. With him as you know he goes so hot and cold. One minute we are getting along wonderfully and connecting. The next minute he starts withdrawing. It seems everytime that I get really angry and let him know about it, he comes crawling back, but it doesn't seem to last too long. So is he afraid of losing me or his money? Wish I could answer that question.

Do you think he has strong feelings for anyone apart from himself? Is there anyone he would put before himself? Was there ever a time when you felt he put others first?

At this time I would pretty much say he is a narcissist. I have no doubt that he loves our daughters, but they have to conform to his ideas to be on his good side, eg. the pets. I do honestly remember when he used to be such a family man. He would tell everyone, "There are two things you don't mess with...my family and my money." Notice money has always been involved, but family used to be right up there, doesn't seem that way anymore.

I am just interested to know if he has changed.

Also, I should ask you the opposite - it is very easy to see the negatives in our wayward S's; what are the things that make you love him? what is it about him that keeps you going?

There are some positives in my H believe it or not. He is a very hard worker. He would not ask anything of someone that he was not willing to do himself work wise. Most people in his position do not work along side their employees, but he does quite a bit. He is very smart when it comes to his business life, but not so much his personal life.

I do still love him, but in reality I guess it's the old him that I love. I do see a glimpse occasionally of that man. At times he can be very charming and loving. It's like he has two sides and his family doesn't always get his best side.