W randomly told me last night "we can't do anything tonight, you know that right?"

Err? Where did she get that idea. I think it was an assumption on her part that I wanted to . We were hugging earlier and she was holding onto me tight for a while. Maybe she felt something and figured I did too? Maybe she is conscious of the fact that we haven't ML for 21 days...is it unhealthy if I keep count? Maybe those longer hugs send her the message that I want to? I understand long hugs send a "more than friends" message, but it doesn't have to say "lets do it tonight". Why does she feel the need to make a preemptive strike when I never even mentioned the subject?

I told her I am working on separating physical affection from sexual attention so that she feels comfortable hugging me or sitting close to me again. She told me it's hard to do that when she knows I am frustrated. I told her I am working on that and she said "oh really?" in a suspicious voice, as if I meant I was getting it somewhere else. I told her the frustration is not a physical thing, it is emotional. I am working on not feeling angry or resentful, which is what causes me frustration. She thinks I am sexually frustrated (which I am at times) but it is nothing compared to the emotional frustration I go through due to the feeling of being rejected over and over again.

I asked to hold her in bed before we went to sleep. She acted annoyed, kind of like "I knew it", but again my intentions weren't sexual. It is going to take a long time before she trusts my intentions again.

What does all this mean? Not sure really, but it feels relevant somehow.

Spellfire aka Mike

"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A