I feel for you. It's horrible to realize that somebody who you really loved, and devoted years to, and thought of as your ideal mate, could walk away with so few regrets. But you've stated that he's a good man inside, so it sounds as though all his confusion really is a sign that he does have regrets and better impulses ... he just can't access them consistently (or for long) at the moment.
Good for you for doing all the reading! I found that the descriptions and wild stories about MLC, in the end, painted a fairly consistent picture of how the MLCer behaved, and I came to the conclusion that I couldn't have done anything to prevent my H's crisis. All I could have done differently was change how I responded to it; it took me a long time to learn to be friendly and detached. He was near the end of replay before I figured that one out! But I don't think that my being like that any earlier would have changed his journey--he really was lost in the fog. You're familiar with the stages; where would you say your H is?
You said your father was an alcoholic--do you mind if I ask whether you've done counselling for that?
Hey, I'm impressed you negotiated that settlement by yourself! The Paralegal course sounds very interesting and should certainly keep you busy.
