Thanks for that. Coming back together after my affair has been even more difficult than I even realized, and I knew it would be tough. When you really look at yourself in the mirror, and take ownership over your wrongdoings, when you see clearly what you have done and what it all means, when you realize how many people you have affected, when you see the hurt/pain you have caused and will continue to cause pain to, when you are reminded of it day after day, and when you know there is nothing you can do to change what you have done, it is very painful....especially if your identity was, in part, a person that is the "goody goody" with moral standards...takes you to a place of "Who am I?"
Everyone says time is key. They are so right. Time, prayer, and mindset. I feel we are so lucky to get to the spot we are at now. There is NOTHING we can't get through. I truly believe that. I don't disect everything my H does and says, and he doesn't with me either. If things bother us, we talk about them, don't brush them under the rug anymore, and solve them. Sounds simple, doesn't it? When we don't solve them, we keep working at solving them. Don't picture a couple that wakes up with the perfect smile on their faces, doing wonderful things for each other all the time, saying wonderful things to each other all the time, never having problems...that is not us. We are normal people, with normal problems, that have chosen to not bail out. Ever. We don't just FEEL things, we share our feelings and work together.
Tonight, we are going out together to a new restaurant, and then maybe going to a movie. I love dates with my H. He already has emailed me about what I'm wearing (he actually told me what he wanted to see me wearing..that's a change), how excited he is, and specifics about our plans. Should be a good night.
