Interesting run of posts there, folks.

About the timing, I suppose mine used to suck too, but CJ made it clear in an e-mail that he is most receptive when we're enjoying a nice dinner and glass of vino.

And believe it or not , CJ and I have never had the "how do we prevent this from happening again" discussion!!!

I think for him, like your H's, it's so fresh in his mind that he would very strongly say "it won't happen again!".

I also think that the fact that CJ IS speaking up, IS telling me when I'm being controlling and such, when he feels dismissed etc. IS our insurance against this happening again.

You see, he kept all of this inside before. And before I just blithely went along treating him poorly and expecting loyalty and love...WEEELLL, I know a little better now myself!

So in SOME ways, I can see how our S's feel that the dynamics have changed in such a way that the conditions for their A's no longer exist.

On the other hand (devil's advocate that I am) I can see your point about when we all married...we all thought that would NEVER happen, didn't we? (well, maybe not you Sage...damn your MOm makes me mad! ).

Still, I feel SO much better "armed", better informed, more in touch with myself and CJ than I did in those early years.

Shiny