Shine like the star you are!

[sage]

I don't know about "backslide". Learning to communicate about sensitive subjects isn't easy, and to be expected that there will be a lot of fumbling around in the learning process.

I hope your H can see the wisdom of reframing the subject as a process, and that he has a great deal to do with how long the process will take!

Tal -- Ah, your post reminded me of one of the biggest parts of the conflict/issue this time (that I conveniently forgot to mention!). One thing that h has said again and again is that the timing of when I bring this stuff up, well, stinks...and he's right. It's often when we're out someplace (or just gotten back from being someplace), usually after we've had a "good time", often late at night and often at the start of the weekend....

This is all true. I've spent some time reflecting on this...wondering why I bring these things up when I do...

Likely all of this is worthy of a separate post but...

I think I bring things up when we're out because I feel like I have a captive audience

I think I bring things up when things are going well because I get scared (it's "too good")

I think I bring things up when it's late at night because I hold it in as long as I can then kind of "explode".

I also stew on stuff for a while. In this case...while my comment WAS my reflecting on a feeling...TBH, it had also been brewing a bit...Brian's recent discovery that w was still in contact with OG had been on my mind. (not fair to h but true).

Why I bring things up at the start of a weekend is not clear...

All in all, I need to figure out how to initiate conversations with h at "better times". I think he's been trying to let me know that he IS willing to talk about things but would prefer different timing. I think I'd been stuck in the mode of him NOT being willing and therefore I think I'd been still feeling as though I needed to use "timing" to make an impact.

Sage