IMHO, a one night stand is WAY different than an ongoing EA or PA. But then again we're women. I've read before that men find any physical interaction much harder to deal with. Another book to add to your list is Not Just Friends. It's about getting over affairs and comes highly recommended around here. I will admit I have a copy but reading the first chapter made me so angry with xBF that I put it down and haven't picked it up again. So maybe see if the library has it before spending any money on your own copy. It's supposed to be good for both parties in the R so it may contain some info that would help H.
On another topic, my best friend from HS lives in Sedro Wooley and I know a few people (including some of xBF's family) who live in Bellingham. Small world!
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
