Maybe I should be in piecing part 6?

[Hope4us]

More to your comments Mel.

I understand completely what you're saying. Same for my W.

1) I would assume same for her. She hasn't come right out and told me what those needs that weren't being met were, but in off hand comments, she has. I've been meeting those all I can.

2) I think you and my W are a lot alike.

3) Again, you hit my W right on the head here. We both work for the same company which led us to the same social circles. I've been climbing the corporate ladder, so when we'd be socializing, even with HER friends from work, the conversations always got around to me and MY career. I know that feel like her opinions didn't matter. She feels like her wants never were taken into consideration, mainly when it comes to money. When we first married, I asked her if she wanted to take care of the money and she said no, I should do it because she didn't want to deal with it. So I've spent our marriage juggling bills, taking us on nice vacations, putting our first son through college etc which required some sacrafices on some things she wanted (big house, new cars, etc). I tried to explain to her that we could have those things, but it would require changes in our lifestyle, and she always agreed, but I think she resented it. She grew up with a step dad that made A LOT OF MONEY, so she never had to worry about where the money was coming from for stuff. I think she resented the fact that she worked and felt like she didn't have what she perceived as any say in the money.

I think OM in our case was so attractive to her because he was pretty much single with no responsibility (he was/is married, but his wife and kids live 1000 miles away). And they didn't have to deal with kids, money, a dirty house, etc. And because he's the serial cheater he is, I'm sure he knew exactly how to listen and talk to W to get in her pants. And she fell for it.

Now we're left picking up the pieces.

Any way. Back to my sitch. I sent W an email this morning. I didn't get it approved here first But here's what it said

"I just wanted to explain some things so hopefully you can see where I'm coming from.

That "trigger" last night is nothing new for me. They happen. I can't predict when they will happen and I can't predict what will "trigger" them in me. Sometimes it's the most stupid things. Sometimes it's more obvious things. In the beginning they were almost constant. Now, not so much. Some are worse than others. Most times now they are short lived. Doesn't mean I don't care for you. Doesn't mean I'm trying to purposely hurt you. Far from it. It's just one of the things I have to deal with. I knew I'd have to deal with them very early on. And I made a choice to stay and deal with them and fight for our marriage.

Maybe you don't feel like this, but I feel like we've been making progress. And dealing with these types of things is just another step in the healing process. I knew it would be the toughest thing I've ever done. But I'm willing to go through it because I know we're worth it.

Talk to you soon.

me


Go a head and 2x4 me. But I felt like I had to say those things. If I didn't say those things, I'd probably explode, and that's not good.

I just IM'd her to see if she was ok with leaving a few minutes early for the wedding out of town tonight so we can take a little longer route and avoid the snow up around the lake. I got a "fine with me". I asked her how her day was going and got a "fine".

So I guess I won't be continuing THAT conversation.

Talk to ya soon.