I'm not sure if W knows how to say sorry or if that word is in her vocabulary, but anyway today she phoned me to thank me for preparing dinner for the last couple of days, and she says it was greatly appreciated as she has not been feeling well recently and was glad for the break from the kitchen. She also added that the food was really tasty, which for me I take it as a big complement cos W normally complains about my cooking.
I'm still reading the book and the first chapter has stopped me in my tracks a little cos it says something like if your W is a b***ch shes not likely to change. (Well I think I already had that figured) anyway I'll read on.
And for posterity I took a couple of video clips of D7 riding her bike, shes getting more confident each time we go out, so this summer she will now be able to keep up with all of the other kids where we live.
I'm still reading the book and the first chapter has stopped me in my tracks a little cos it says something like if your W is a b***ch shes not likely to change.
Well, I am a woman and a known royal b***h and I can tell you he is right... Ask my H. K
I'm still reading the book and the first chapter has stopped me in my tracks a little cos it says something like if your W is a b***ch shes not likely to change. (Well I think I already had that figured) anyway I'll read on.
That is a bold statement. Do you believe it? Does the book have anything to back up that statement?
Hopefully the book is more than a how to cope with your b---- of a W. In DB, which I'm reading, it believes change is possible. It's up to us to find solutions that get us what we want.
Keep reading.
I'm glad your W showed gratitude for your cooking. It must be tough for her, not feeling well so often.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I'm still reading the book and the first chapter has stopped me in my tracks a little cos it says something like if your W is a b***ch shes not likely to change. (Well I think I already had that figured) anyway I'll read on.
Getting serious for a sec here...
At the start of my own sitch, and I think a lot of others, part (not all!) of the problem was that my W had gone through some personal growth and I had not "kept up". Her conclusion? Rob will never change. Obviously, that was not true - I changed and grew like crazy once I had that kick-in-the-pants bomb to get me started.
Change is tough, and human nature is to settle into comfort zones and avoid it. However, don't jump to the same judgmental conclusion about your W (She'll never change) as my W did about me. We ALL are capable of change, if we can find the right combination of the external motivation and the internal will to do it.
After all, how much have YOU changed on this journey?
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Hi there Lan - this is truly a landmark event! Seeing your daughter ride a bike for the first time is tremendous - and I know from the twinges in my back how hard that must have been!!! Yeah - well done you! And D of course - scary I bet!
Where did you go? There's a track from Marple - thats where H got his confidence...
We have a slightly sloping tarmac track which runs across an open field which is actually called Kingsway park, theres grass either of the track side so if she runs off course and falls theres a soft landing for her. That really hepled with her confidence. I am really beaming with pride cos I taught her and I've got the video clips to look back on.
When D7 gets more proficient we'll all head up to that cycle track at Marple.
To all,
Change is possible but IOM I don't see W changing a great deal, but that's not for me to worry about as I can't control her, her mood swing or her anger. I mean I came onto the DB site August 2007 and the title of my first thread was "W always angry with me..." and here we are now in 2009 and she still finds ways to be angry with me no matter what the situation is.
So my situation isn't desperate, I'll continue to read the book and to be honest I think I have done the book a disservices by throwing out little snippets without giving it a thorough reading. I'll keep reading the book and moving forward in the direction that I am going because now I can see the road ahead, and I can see it doesn't necessarily lead to happiness or happiness in the way I originally imagined it.
And of course I was joking saying that it is true that women cant change although I am sure my H still thinks that I havent. But I KNOW I have, some at least
It better be good because i am expecting it to solve my relationship issues as well as my work related issues....and most importantly, I will become a superior man in bed (without any use of drugs of any kind)....apparently!!!!
What is this book ? apparently 4 hours isn't enough for some women !!!
Lan - Man you take some chit bruv.....I am in total awe of your patience when what you describe seems so untolerable to me. My STBX also never had the word Sorry in her vocabulary and IMO, without that, there is no way a R can possibly work as one person will always end up backing down, whether wrong or right just for peace.
On the all women are XXXXXes front. Well, I would certainly say in my experience, they expect us to read signs that as men we just don't. Everyone should also read Venus and Mars IMO and I would say that has helped me with MOT35 and probably given me better R skills that DB, whereas DB helps me individually.
Ask my H.
