Shine like the star you are!

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

AGREED!

[shinybear]

Amen!

Shiny

And Sage, isn't it interesting that your H felt comfortable enough with you to tell you about that conversation with the female fellow student??

And that the conversation painted you in such glowing terms in contrast to HER H....that had to feel good!

I guess what I'm dancing around is that it seems to me that your H trusts in YOUR trust in him enough to mention this!

1) I think the "old Sage" might have been plagued by thoughts of him making female "friends" at school....

2) Moot point because H wouldn't have shared this with the "old Sage" for fear of wakening her insecurities

3) The "old Sage" would very likely NOT be so accommodating and supportive of H's law school efforts so he wouldn't have had anything to brag about!

You da Queen!!!

Shiny

[talitsa]

Ditto everything Shiny said!!!

[sage]

1) I think the "old Sage" might have been plagued by thoughts of him making female "friends" at school....

Ahem -- even the "new sage" felt some pangs at hearing about FF. BUT, I didn't get sarcastic or controlling or ask a thousand questions or.... I listened and asked about her a bit (not in a bad way) and ....reaffirmed my thought process that I need to focus on the stuff I can control -- me!

2) Moot point because H wouldn't have shared this with the "old Sage" for fear of wakening her insecurities

Gonna say that this is MOST definitely true.

3) The "old Sage" would very likely NOT be so accommodating and supportive of H's law school efforts so he wouldn't have had anything to brag about!

And THIS is COMPLETELY true.

It's amazing how letting go of my sense of "control" over h has been liberating for both of us.

You da Queen!!!

Hey, why not? Queen for at least a day!

Sage

[sage]

arrgh...mini vent. Just posted on smoochie's thread over in Infidelity. I won't go into more details but arrgh!!!!

OK....positives from yesterday:

1. Y'all heard about the phone call and the wonderful expression of thanks from h.

2. I got home and h had printed out a "h daily report" which was a charming kind of "newsletter" about his day. Somebody pinch me!

3. h continues to be enthusiastic and open about school. seems to enjoy talking about it!

Got a date tonight and I am really psyched for the weekend!

Sage

[shinybear]

Consider yourself pinched...it's REAL!

So who is this "smoochie"...should I check it out? I am feeling a little fiesty!

Shiny

[minnie1]

Hi Sage,

I hear ya about posting over on Smoochie's thread....I shouldn't have but I did. I asked a stupid question and got a stupid answer.

I do wish, however, that she had answered your questions.

Thanks again for visiting my site over on Infidelity these past couple of days. I feel better knowing that I'm doing the best that I can do. So what if he won't even look at me these days, things could change for me in the future.

I've started to read your threads but haven't had much time to sit here and read; maybe I'll get a chance from home. Posting is different because at least I'm typing.

I don't have any positives but hopefully I will soon.

Anyway, have a great date night and long weekend.

minnie

[talitsa]

LOLOLOL Sage:

arrrghhhh times 10. Way back when I first came to this bb, someone listed the link to a forum called THE OTHER WOMAN, a support group for--yeah, you got it....TOW's!

I went there once to see what they were all talking about. It's enough to make you want to do the damage of an F5 twister...so um...I don't recommend it for reading material. Funny, though...something rings a bell on names. Can you believe there are all kinds of references to this bb and the Marraige Builder's site.

I'm going to have to go look again.

P.S. If I see anyone there whining about their Xboyfreind's wife humiliating them at work under the guise of having Tourette's Syndrome, I'm going to laugh myself silly!

[shinybear]

Wish I'd have read your post first Tal...just skimmed through some of smoochie's threads and, well, I'm a little steamed. Sorry, but I guess I'm just not a "big enough" person to feel a lot of empathy there!

I'm glad you got her on that ridiculous comment about "not stopping seeing the OP since S isn't making changes" Yikes!!

Not going back there any time soon, methinks.

Shiny

[sage]

Hey all, just quick journalling.

Positives from yesterday:
1. h and I went out to dinner last night -- a date.
2. h did a bunch of things around the house.
3. got another date tonight and a busy weekend planned.

SO...I dunno, h seems "off" a bit right now. Seemed that way last night during dinner, too, and definitely sounds "something" on the phone. I'm being vague because I can't really put my finger on it...stress maybe? not feeling well? tired? who the heck knows.

I'm doing great NOT reacting to it...not getting bummed or withdrawn myself.

Why not just ask him if something's up? well, frankly, that kind of asking has never gone well. or, maybe to be more accurate, it's the aftermath that doesn't go well. Also, I'm just trying to give him some emotional space. If he wants to tell me what's up, I suppose he will.

I'll see how the day goes...

Sage