Just keep swimming...PH #4

[pearlharbr]

Ok, I've thought about it more and discussed with BFF. Now I'm really offended in addition to being angry.

Let's take a closer look...

I miss you and still care for you.

Wow, that's some declaration. Not even ILY.

I've done a lot of things and said a lot of things that have hurt you and am very sorry.

What exactly would those things be? Having an affair and lying about it?? Doesn't even rate a mention. You're sorry? That's all?

Some of the things I've said are true while I think other stuff was said as a way to try to explain things I didn't really have an answer for.

So I'm supposed to know what was true and what was total bs?

I'm in a better mental state now and would like to explore if there is any hope for us.

Not exactly crawling or begging. And this is supposed to be enough to get me back?

I was only able to focus on what I perceived as issues without being able to focus on all the good things we had going - I am over that now.

Nothing about me, only that the sitch might not have been as bad as he thought. Nice. Reminds me of what he said in MC - he stayed with me because it was easier than leaving. And why he didn't end things before we moved to AK even though he supposedly wasn't happy then - because it's easier to move to a new place with someone rather than on your own. Yeah, we did have a lot of good things going because I made his life easier!

But I also understand if you are done and want nothing to do with me. Let me know if you would be willing to chat.

So now it's on me if we split permanently. As if he has no say or responsibility in the decision. Willing to chat? Yeah, because it's something we can discuss over afternoon tea.

Overall it's a pathetic attempt, if you can even call it that. If he thinks this is enough to win me back he must be smoking crack. Obviously I'm still to worked up to respond in a calm manner. I don't even know if I can dignify it with a response. Grr. Going to bed now, hopefully this doesn't interfere with my sleep.