Hi Poet, I'm not sure what was the reason why your husband decided to leave?
When they leave, I know that they want to be able to justify their reason for leaving. I also know that they look for reasons to alleviate their guilt for leaving. I know that they want to be angry because that way they don't have to feel guilty or bad about their actions.
My suggestion is to try to stay away from him. It is difficult; believe me. Maybe you should try 'to go off the radar screen', be unavailable, be mysterious. 'Act as if' you don't expect him to call you. Don't look for him. Let him wonder.
He needs time to be alone with his feelings. 'Act as if' you don't care anymore (even if you do). Try it. Try not calling him.
You need time to work on yourself and strengthen your self-esteem. I'm not sure about the legal aspect. You can look at it from a few angles. What would happen if you fought him for the house? AND What would happen if you didn't fight at all? AND What would happen if you agreed to sell the house? What would be the best way to help lead your H back to you? These are all questions that you have to ask yourself, a counselor, and an attorney.
I chose not to fight. Fighting wasn't worth it to me. I'm usually very patient, but sometimes, I just want to 'push' things a little faster in my direction. Oh! My H also was very insensitive, angry, and flatlined when he did 'have' to talk to me in the 1-1/2 years that he didn't speak to me. Now...he calls me every 2-ish weeks just to know how I am, and he tells me that it's good to hear my voice. So....it's nutty.
I know that one minute you hate him, but you also love him. It's normal and ok. It's ok to be angry at him and love him at the same time. Just keep your 'responses' and your 'reactions' separate. What I mean is 'feel' it just don't 'act' on it. Try to settle in. Expect him to be distant for awhile. Try to 'act as if' you want to be distant, too.
Anyway, I have to go to sleep because I have to be up early in the AM.
