Wow 25yrs! You are amazing!!! You have excellent advice here.
All I can think of adding is to use this time with your W away to grow and heal. Try to rediscover yourself and take the time to bond with your kids, and help them learn how to work through a difficult time. Even though this is definitely a painful roller coaster ride, there will also be good things. There are always silver linings. Look for them and make the most of them.
Think of W as someone suddenly insane (like some crazy insane person you might see on a bus). From what I've observed MLC really is a type of insanity. There's changing hormones, kids growing older, a desire to do something crazy and feel like a 16-year-old again, etc... It's a really weird time. So try not to take this too personal. I know you have been questioning if this is MLC, but the fact she did leave the kids, and moved-in quickly with someone she barely knows, that would indicate to me a HUGE liklihood that this is MLC. But don't worry yourself or question this whole thing. Just focus on you and your boys for now.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
