Another Wife Rising From The Bomb's Ashes

[Tawnya]

Ok..so great time for my thread to lock..LOL!! But anyway, with a new thread I think it's finally time for a new, more positive name for my thread (tho I think for the next one I'll choose a shorter one LOL)

Anyway, to recap my last "heavy revelation" here it is:

{{{Kass}}} well I think that's why I've been enjoying my "new found freedom" honestly..it is SOOOO nice to not have to deal with this daily. In a way I see ways that my hub "controlled" me that I didn't even realize, like even when we were "happy", he would be like that and you kinda just never knew whether he was gonna flip about this not being done or get mad and blow up about something that seemed trivial to me..sigh..I don't miss that at all.

Definitely am side tracking but maybe not..it's funny I was listening to this song/video last night and was telling a friend of mine that I liked it, but not to be alarmed because I wasn't physically abused. Ok..2 confessions on that one: 1) My hub did at times, many years ago, get angry enough to do that and still, even as of last week, he picked something up like he was gonna throw it and that was just something I never knew what would happen..he didn't throw it and for the most part I stood up to that, but in all honesty, as a woman, you just can't fight that kind of stuff off if a large, 5'9"/200+ dude wanted to hurt you, a 5'4"/not telling how many pounds LOL, woman couldn't do too much about it..you know what I mean..I really can't believe I just told you guys that..but this is about me healing and I guess I just needed to say it ::tears::

Secondly, tho I haven't been physically hurt in many years really, give or take a few "small times" (which still count yes LOL), I just think the thought of it and the "walking on eggshells" was always there..and I Think that's where my "do I ever want to go back to that" comes from..

Anyway..can't even really see to type at this moment..pshoo..you know I Think you all are the first people I've told that to I hope you know I didn't tell you out of pity, but just to step on up to that butterfly floating and free

Thanks for listening!!