Quote: allrighty...May I ask...are you upset about something going on at home right now?
Sage
tired...just very tired...tired of the peacful coexistance...tired of not really feeling like there is a relationship here...tired of waiting...tired of not hearing h say ily..tired of h's lack of motivation to actively work on this r...tired of the fact that despite the fact that h knows and understands my needs and wants he is content to let them go unmet and sit back expecting me to be happy just because he is...tired of wanting more and never seeming to get there.
just tired sage...I don't have time or desire to pick myself apart any more than I have for the last two years (and more) I don't have the energy to assume full responsibilty for the stability of this m. I'm tired of holding the rope and wondering if there is anyone on the other end...or knowing there is someone there but they have the rope in their back pocket while they are busy taking care of everything else.
just tired is all.
I am really happy for you and shiney that your h's are opening up to you...that you are able to e-mail and spend time together and all that...really I am.
for me though...sending notes or saying such things as thank you for loving me or I hope you know I love you..don't work it's just more of the same..for me the only thing that seems to get h's attention (and of course not always) is to practically give up...it's a pathetic game of cat and mouse that has been going on now for almost 12 years and I'm pretty well fed up with it...I'd like to be a grown up and have a grown up relationship..these games are tiring...I've got better things to do with my life...sometimes I think I would be better off alone.
